It is a fact that people only use 10% of there brains. Well what the fuck's the rest for I could save the space and use it as storage. That means there is 90% that is un-tapped. Full of mathmatical conundrems solved, explanations, words to songs long forgotten all hidden in that 90%. See I have found the key to unlock the 90% to reach your full potential...
Well its obvious isn't it. Beer.
You see people in the pub on a friday after a hard days work, well apart from that one guy who can't work because he has a bad back so he drives a forklift for cash but anyway, there all silent, after a hard days graft. Then they get a beer down there neck and they can talk about there day and how much the misses wants him home and his only having the one. By the second pint, they all know how to coach the England football team to World Cup glory.
By the 4th pint they all know in what order to do Girls Aloud. You do the ginger one in the middle everyone knows that. You wouldn't start with her because you wouldn't get the engine running and you wouldn't finish with her because you would give up and that means you wouldn't get the book stamped. Everyone knows that.
By the 6th pint you loose control of your body you can't concentrate on walking you have thinking to do!
By the 8th pint you have planned out a full on, 8 women orgy, with Girls Aloud and the Spice Girls where your sausage is passed around like a meaty baton in a relay race.
By the 10th pint due to the overwhelming amount of knowledge flooding out the 90% of your brain you can't get it all out so you slur your words.
By the 12th pint you can no longer handle the vast flow of knowledge therefore in self defence your brain shuts down to just half of the original use which of course is 5% which is the only part we share with Pigeons.... the part on how to get home.
The next morning due to the overwhelming knowledge that had completly bypassed your body and over the carpet, you are left drained. You feel incapacitated. Somehow with amazing strength, guts and determination you manage to get up and cook a good old Bacon sarnie and an hour later your back to normal.
Thats why ladies and gents, Bacon, is proof there is a god.
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